Mid Life Date Nights, and Tequila Shots.

We drove to Whole Foods at Dusk, I in my late 30’s, he in his mid 40’s. We held hands and blew past the people driving on the the right lane of the highway, scoffing at their lackadaisical speeds. The wind blew through our hair while Stevie Nicks medicated us with her smooth voice. We thought of our children, missing them, yet awakened by our time alone.

We stole glimpses of one another remembering what our love was like in the infancy of our relationship, while realizing simultaneously that the same love existed- it just had a deeper meaning. Our love, and tears, and disagreements, and joys blended together to make the superglue that keeps a marriage whole, while fixing the fractures we thought we could never overcome.

It was date night. We were free.

Our phones were not chirping out reminders, our kids were not tugging at our sleeves for another iPod game, mid day snack, or worse yet-another viewing of Frozen.  There would be no retrieving of the cat from the toilet, who was placed there by a child wanting to play hide and seek. There was no stroll past the refrigerator to notice the bills hanging off it coming due.  Our planners sat in drawers, our wall calendar full of appointments hung alone with only the wall clock ticking away the seconds to keep it company. The lights were off and we were saving on our electric bill. It was like we won the lottery, our prize being quiet hours to do with whatever we pleased.

We ran wild in the parking lot of Whole Foods, dodging cars while drivers screamed out “Watch out {insert expletive here}!”  Middle aged white people high on the frenzy of freedom, or a shot or two of good Tequila.

Young people didn’t understand us, our seniors shook their heads at our behavior. Couples with children of their own recognized us straightaway, nodding their heads in understanding, saluting us with half eaten ice cream cones and grocery bags full of Cous Cous and Quinoa.  It’s not easy being a middle class married couple with kids and an overabundance of responsibilities, but we rock the life we have.

People who don’t have what we have envy us. People who don’t want what we have despise us. People who don’t know what they want watch us and enjoy the show. In this new age of people not wanting to get married, have kids, or keep responsibilities- I have to wonder why.

When I’m old and frail, and my husband has to keep shoving my dentures back into my mouth and pulling up my adult diapers, I will say- we did it all. We rocked the ups, we bitch-slapped the lows, we rebelled when the time was right.

It was date night. We were free, but we missed the kids so damn much we picked them up from the babysitters early, went home and fell asleep by 10pm.



  1. says

    What’s date night I’ve been married for 22yrs and in that time we have always had kids around first it was my brothers because they got the girlfriend pg and needed help. the it was our own. Now 22 yrs later when all my brothers have gone through divorce, marriage counseling, and what not hubby and I sit back and wonder what hell was date night.
    becca recently posted…The Seven Dwarf Mine Train #DisneyMom #TravelMy Profile

  2. says

    It seems like we’ve been married forever and haven’t had an actual date night in years. We do the occasional movie night but actually let go and have fun like we did when we first got together? That hasn’t happened in a while. I’m always worrying about my toddler when we go out even though I know she’s fine. I need to go out and have some fun!
    Amanda @ Growing Up Madison recently posted…Ogden Made Totally Awesome Bags – Review & GiveawayMy Profile

  3. says

    We used to do the date night then we got a place of our own bills and the kids now things are starting to settle down and the 19 year old can watch the 7 year old from time to time and of course were flat broke after rent and bills are paid but that is life at least for now.

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